Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I would fuck him just for his dog
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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