You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize