Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize