I faked an abortion last night.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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