Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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