Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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