dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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