Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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