For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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