It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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