Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
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It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
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he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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