I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize