I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize