All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize