We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
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I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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