Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  so now she's a stripper

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  can't say i'm surprised

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  (281): so now she's a stripper (1-281): can't say i'm surprised http://tfl.nu/r749
  Replies (7) Good night (2005) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.

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  (510): im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife. http://tfl.nu/itl3
  Replies (10) Good night (3585) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.

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  (607): Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later. http://tfl.nu/om4f
  Replies (27) Good night (4572) Bad night (1367) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"

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  (+44): Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far" http://tfl.nu/vzxo
  Replies (7) Good night (4262) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?

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  (610): you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us? http://tfl.nu/gp4k
  Replies (5) Good night (3987) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.

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  (314): In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk. http://tfl.nu/6bmy
  Replies (28) Good night (6729) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.

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  (262): Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head. http://tfl.nu/w9hs
  Replies (19) Good night (2609) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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  (309): You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion... http://tfl.nu/v1ex
  Replies (3) Good night (2591) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

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  (919): Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today. http://tfl.nu/hnp2
  Replies (12) Good night (6231) Bad night (564)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.

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  (402): Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord. http://tfl.nu/2tip
  Replies (9) Good night (343) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter

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  (760): The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter http://tfl.nu/uanv
  Replies (6) Good night (876) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.

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  (603): We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma. http://tfl.nu/dz4i
  Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (241) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!

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  (940): Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?! http://tfl.nu/l6ig
  Replies (5) Good night (238) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Those were right hand only?

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  (847): It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times. (224): Those were right hand only? http://tfl.nu/iwna
  Replies (2) Good night (568) Bad night (245)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.

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  (208): There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science. http://tfl.nu/775a
  Replies (3) Good night (157) Bad night (288) Order T-Shirt

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