1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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