So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize