New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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