Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
its liver damage thursday
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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