I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize