dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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