Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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