my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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