he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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