Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
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I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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