Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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