I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
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I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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