Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My bed smells like the plague
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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