i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the condom got lost in my hair
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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