Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize