I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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