You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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