Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize