She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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