Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize