My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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