Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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