It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize