I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I had to cum in my sink.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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