and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
operation have a gay friend backfired
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This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
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you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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