You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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