I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Randomize