Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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