No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize