girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize