i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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