true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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