respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
3 2 1 whiskey
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize