FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
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If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
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When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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